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Definition

A boring game where you run around with an egg-shaped ball.  It’s often played by toffs.  Actually, it’s called Rugby, but might have been called Evesham if Vic Suckerbag had picked up the football during physical education lessons at school.  Vic, not being a toff, would have been bollocked, not praised, for fart-arsing around during a lesson in this way, though. 

Etymology

Evesham is just one of the many towns where Vic Suckerbag went to school.… Click to read more

Definition

The art of educating oneself by browsing the internet.  This is typically done by watching videos on YouTube, browsing Wikipedia or reading the news.  Nothing is said of the quality of the information obtained and the term may be used derisively and sarcastically, often when mockingly applied to others.

Etymology

Autocloterrocation is a portmanteau and monstrous mash-up of the prefix auto- (self), cloud (a reference to the World Wide Web), interrogation and education.… Click to read more

Definition

A drink invented by Vic Suckerbag whereby you take varying quantities of normal coffee granules mixed with decaffeinated coffee granules in an attempt to reduce the caffeine content of instant coffee whilst retaining most of the flavour.

Etymology

Precaff is a contraction of partially re-caffeinated decaffeinated coffee.… Click to read more

Definition

An idea for a piece of artwork dreamt up by Vic Suckerbag.  The concept is simple but effective: you take a standard issue iPhone and smash it to pieces, chuck it into a cheap plastic bucket and let two Labradors defecate in it.  Film the process and chuck the DVD into the bucket for good measure.  One day Vic Suckerbag hopes to realise this idea and make millions, following in the footsteps of talentless knobheads like Damien Hirst and Tracey Emin.

Etymology

The title of this artwork comes from the internet phenomenon of “Two Girls, one Cup”.  The editor … Click to read more