Search Results for: vaxian

Vaxian (n or adj)

Definition

1) A member of the Vaxian race.  Vic Suckerbag is a notable member of the Vaxian race.  Humans often refer to them using the pejorative term Vacuum Cleaner.

2) Vaxian may also be used as an adjective to denote anything of or relating to Vaxians.

Etymology

Humans would erroneously assume that Vaxian is derived from vac (a truncated form of vacuum cleaner or the informal verb to vacuum).  Whilst this derivation does sound appealing, the true etymology is unknown.… Click to read more

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Dave and I

 Dave and IJen sent in another picture ages ago.  This one is also car-related and it’s a security thingy.  On my planet we don’t have to secure our spaceships because Vaxians are an honest people and don’t steal… (muahahahahaha…)

It looks like a face in utter shock at a laser sight being pointed at its forehead.  “Don’t shoot me,” is what it appears to be thinking.

Thanks for that Jen.  Also, I would gladly take up the offer of moving in with Sal and her Vaxian called Dave.  I think Dave and I could get on quite well!… Click to read more

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Scared Toilet

20131118 Scared Toilet Face 150x150 Scared ToiletNick sent us this picture from his trip to Cyprus.  He said the toilet was scared.  I can kind of see why; a toilet is fed many times a day – more than it can possibly want to eat – and what it eats is not the nicest thing in the world.  As a Vaxian I thought my life was hard.  The man hardly ever feeds me but when he does, he stamps on my eye to induce a sucking reflex.  It’s really cruel and I want to cry… but I’m not going to.  I’ve got to be strong for … Click to read more

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Cat Face

20131028 Washing Cat Face 150x150 Cat FaceAntonia sent in this picture via our Facebook Page.  She wrote:

“Hi there, I spotted a cat’s face in some washing that I had drying last night and thought id send it to you 🙂 it was glaring right at me! Hope you like it :)”

I love cats but cats don’t seem to like me very much because I’m a Vaxian.  That’s discrimination against species…  To be fair though, I am a red Vaxian and I hate blue Vaxians for no real reason other than the fact that they are inferior and they smell…  I also hate Dysonoids because … Click to read more

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Kopi Luwak

20130911 Starbucks Coffee Grinder Face 150x150 Kopi LuwakJen from London sent in this image.  It is a photograph of a photograph.  Jen says, “The picture is a photo I took of a sign on the side of a  drive thru, yes, drive thru, Starbucks shop. At Stansted airport. Are there copyright issues here??”

Well, I’d say they are getting free advertising out of this…  I have never heard of a coffee drive thru/drive through…  That’s pretty lazy, yet very convenient.  I wonder if they sell Kopi Luwak.  On my home planet we have something similar called Aqh’KapoH.  It’s basically Vaxian coffee beans eaten by blue Vaxians.  We … Click to read more

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Watching Kylie

20130911 SciSpin Mini Centrifuge Face 150x150 Watching KylieThis picture was sent in by Edwin and shows another centrifuge; this time a SciSpin Mini.  It looks very much like the type of centrifuge we Vaxians use to enrich uranium for spacecraft propulsion.  This centrifuge is pretty happy, just like the other one.  I bet he’s watching videos of Kylie Minogue…

Nice picture, Edwin!… Click to read more

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I’m spinning around

20130911 Centrifuge Face 150x150 Im spinning aroundHere follows the final batch of images sent in by Edwin!  This is a picture of a centrifuge.  I’m not sure what kind of centrifuge, but it’s a fairly happy one.  Happy because it’s spinning around, move out of its way, he knows you’re feeling him cause you like it like this…  Well, I think Kylie Minogue’s version is better; partly because she’s hot…  Vaxian women are not as beautiful as she is.  Vaxian women suck!  But that’s not necessarily a bad thing…

Anyway, centrifuges… what more can I say?  Thanks Edwin!… Click to read more

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Happy in your job?

20130908 Happy Adjuster Face 150x150 Happy in your job?Edwin sent in this picture of what he calls an “adjuster”.  I’m not entirely sure what it is, but it appears to be a piece of steel holding something else in position for some reason.  Maybe for machining or perhaps for something entirely different.  Whatever it is doing, it seems pretty happy.  And that’s actually quite a rarity these days.  In the economic climate I know plenty of people who are unhappy in their current jobs.  Salaries are low, prices are rising, houses are unaffordable, big companies are profiting, clients and bosses bully and wealth isn’t trickling down.  It’s all … Click to read more

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Cute and delicious

20130908 Door Parrot Face 150x150 Cute and deliciousAnimals are interesting in that they are both cute and delicious.  As a Vaxian I don’t care too much where my food has come from; I crash landed on a strange blue planet and I had to survive, so I made myself eat whatever I could find on the floor… or in the man’s fridge.    Edwin sent in this picture of a door parrot.  It’s interesting how animals manifest themselves in the home, in places you’d least expect.  Finding mice, cockroaches or silverfish is quite common but random parrots?  Maybe on board a pirate ship…  I had a Varrot on … Click to read more

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A horror movie

20130908 Daihatsu hijet windscreen washer face 150x150 A horror movieEdwin sent in this image of a Daihatsu Hijet windscreen washer.  It’s actually quite an eerie image; a bit like something out of a horror movie, where an apparition appears outside the window on a rainy stormy night.  The figure has slight exotropia, which makes it even more scary, as I’m unsure where he’s looking.  Is he looking at me?  Is he at my soul?  Either way, I’m pretty scared.  Well, the joke’s on him: Vaxians don’t have souls.… Click to read more

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