Evesham (n)

Definition

A boring game where you run around with an egg-shaped ball.  It’s often played by toffs.  Actually, it’s called Rugby, but might have been called Evesham if Vic Suckerbag had picked up the football during physical education lessons at school.  Vic, not being a toff, would have been bollocked, not praised, for fart-arsing around during a lesson in this way, though. 

Etymology

Evesham is just one of the many towns where Vic Suckerbag went to school.… Click to read more

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Autocloterrocation (n)

Definition

The art of educating oneself by browsing the internet.  This is typically done by watching videos on YouTube, browsing Wikipedia or reading the news.  Nothing is said of the quality of the information obtained and the term may be used derisively and sarcastically, often when mockingly applied to others.

Etymology

Autocloterrocation is a portmanteau and monstrous mash-up of the prefix auto- (self), cloud (a reference to the World Wide Web), interrogation and education.… Click to read more

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Precaff (n)

Definition

A drink invented by Vic Suckerbag whereby you take varying quantities of normal coffee granules mixed with decaffeinated coffee granules in an attempt to reduce the caffeine content of instant coffee whilst retaining most of the flavour.

Etymology

Precaff is a contraction of partially re-caffeinated decaffeinated coffee.… Click to read more

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Two dogs, one bucket (Artwork)

Definition

An idea for a piece of artwork dreamt up by Vic Suckerbag.  The concept is simple but effective: you take a standard issue iPhone and smash it to pieces, chuck it into a cheap plastic bucket and let two Labradors defecate in it.  Film the process and chuck the DVD into the bucket for good measure.  One day Vic Suckerbag hopes to realise this idea and make millions, following in the footsteps of talentless knobheads like Damien Hirst and Tracey Emin.

Etymology

The title of this artwork comes from the internet phenomenon of “Two Girls, one Cup”.  The editor … Click to read more

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Articipointment (n)

Definition

The notion that the anticipation of going to an art gallery or exhibition is often more exciting than the actual art installation itself, which often turns out to be shit.  This is often applicable to the Arnolfini art Gallery in Bristol.

Etymology

Articipointment is a portmanteau of art, anticipation and disappointment.… Click to read more

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Meh-ness (n)

Definition

The state of being emotionally unaffected or blasé about something.

Etymology

Meh-ness is the conversion into a noun of the phrase “Meh!” often uttered by Bart Simpson.… Click to read more

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Individumassation (n)

Definition

An instance of a group of individuals being lumped together to form one large anonymous crowd or mass of people.  Individumassation is not necessarily the act of tarring people with the same brush but it can be the first step towards it.

Etymology

Individumassation is a portmanteau of individual, mass (as in mass or crowd of people) and the suffix -ation indicating an instance of omething.… Click to read more

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Suckerbag (n)

Definition

Vic Suckerbag’s idiosyncratic eponymous word for stomach.

Etymology

Suckerbag is eponymous and Vic’s dust bag is his stomach.… Click to read more

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Interrofauxpas (n)

Definition

The act of incorrectly placing a question mark in a sentence.  Sentences beginning with “Guess” are often subject to interrofauxpas because the implied expectation of a response from the reader seems to indicate an interrogative sentence, when in actual fact it is imperative.

Etymology

Interrofauxpas is a contraction of interrogative and faux pas.… Click to read more

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Hypervenarifaçadeur (n)

Definition

A hypervenarifaçadeur is a person who sees faces in objects and takes pictures of them and sends them to Vic Suckerbag regularly (cf. venarifaçadeur).  Vic Suckerbag is a notable venarifaçadeur and some of his readers have caught the bug too and sent in pictures.  If you have seen a face in an object, get in touch with us!

Etymology

Hypervenarifaçadeur is derived from the prefix hyper- (found in loan words from Greek, denoting a superlative) venari– (Latin, alluding to hunting), façade (frontage, face) and the suffix -eur (occurring in loan words from French indicating the masculine version of … Click to read more

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