I See Faces

Vic's Collection of Faces! Click title to read full article

Electric Fan Heater

20130217 Fan Heater Shifty Face 150x150 Electric Fan HeaterOur London correspondent sent in this picture of an electric¬†fan heater.¬† You can see two highlights within the plastic circular grid forming a nose and mouth of sorts.¬† He’s looking a bit shifty, as if he’s upto no good.¬† What could he possibly be upto?¬† He has no legs or arms so can’t go very far and presumably he’s tethered to the wall by his power lead.¬† Maybe it’s not a “he” but a “she”.¬† It’s like animals; I can’t tell a boy-dog from a girl-dog, or cat for that matter…¬† I love all cats though.¬† Phwoar… (fap fap … Click to read more

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Why I hate humans

20130217 Wooden Box Coffee Table Face 150x150 Why I hate humansGideon from Amsterdam (ja, Amshterdam for shure, for shure) sent in this picture of a wooden box-cum-coffee table.¬† The box isn’t looking very happy with all that crap piled onto its back.¬† Humans are the biggest bullies on the planet and use anything and everything for their own benefit with no regard for the feelings of others.¬† Look at me: I’m an enslaved¬†Vaxian, but I can’t complain; at least I get fed… sometimes.

Here’s a further list of why I hate humans: global warming, slave trade, deforestation, cheating partners,¬†girlfriend or date snogging someone else,¬†bankers stealing from their … Click to read more

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What’s bigger: a drag or a toke?

20130217 Electronic Pipe Face 150x150 Whats bigger: a drag or a toke?A while back the man was out with some friends (I don’t believe it either; surely the tosser can’t have any friends) and Dan showed off his new toy: an electronic pipe, or e-pipe.¬† It’s just like an electronic cigarette, only it’s not made to resemble a cigarette.¬† It’s not clear who spotted the face, but let’s credit the whole group.¬† Out of curiosity. the man took a drag or a toke on the thing, the dirty bastard that he is…¬† Now that got me wondering what’s bigger: a drag or a toke?

I don’t know the answer but I … Click to read more

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I “saw” a face! Geddit?

20130203 Mitre Gauge Table Saw Face 150x150 I saw a face! Geddit?Gav sent in this picture of the mitre gauge on his table saw.  He was pretty excited, writing the following.

“LOOK!
LOOK AT IT!

I SEEN A FACE!

¬†Mitre gauge thingy on my table saw. Winnage.”
 
It’s a very good one but he obviously missed an opportunity for a cracking pun.¬† Thankfully planet Earth has me, your favourite Vaxian, good old Vic!¬† I don’t usually blow my own trumpet, because I’m not very good at it; you might say I suck bags…

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Gurning Competitions

20130202 Gurning Chair Face 150x150 Gurning CompetitionsHello all, I’ve been a bit la… busy lately and haven’t had a chance to upload any pictures – not even from our most dedicated face submitters, Jen.¬† Sorry Jen…

This is a chair and it reminds me of those pictures of old toothless men grinning, or maybe gurning.¬† You know those gurning competitions they used to hold?¬† Do they still do them?¬† I think I should enter; I’m good at gurning!¬† I can pull a really convincing “surprised” face.¬† My “shocked” faced is pretty good as well.¬† Check out pictures of me if you don’t believe me!

That’s it … Click to read more

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Does Marzipan Count Towards Your Five a Day?

20130107 Marzipan Fruit Face 150x150 Does Marzipan Count Towards Your Five a Day?Hello!¬† Happy new year to you!¬† Is it too late to wish you a happy new year?¬† It’s certainly too late to ask you if it’s too late to do so, as I’ve already done it.¬† Confused?¬† Yeah, me too.¬† My little plastic brain hurts.

So, this website’s best friend Jen sent in another picture. It’s a box of fruity marzipan she got from her sister Sal.¬† Whilst it looks delicious, it certainly doesn’t count towards your five a day… in terms of fruit and vegetables at least.¬† On my planet the Vaxian government’s advice is to suck up 5 … Click to read more

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Merry Christmas!

20121225 Grilled Tomato Face 150x150 Merry Christmas!The man recently celebrated his 30th birthday and I wasn’t invited.¬† I found this photograph of a rather tasty looking grilled tomato on his phone, which was taken at his birthday meal.¬† Speaking of birthdays, today¬†some of you Earthlings¬†celebrate the birth of some bloke called Jesus.¬† My knowledge of Earth history isn’t that great, but I understand he liked wine.¬† Merry Christmas to those of you who give a toss!

Today also happens to be the Vaxian feast of Kh’ali’Qan.¬† It involves inhaling lots and lots of “spice” and generally doing bugger all.¬† I can’t remember the origins … Click to read more

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Remember Movember

20121205 Lights face movember 150x150 Remember MovemberRemember Movember?¬† It’s December already and today the crazy Dutch celebrate Sinterklaas – it’s like Christmas, only more racist and naughty kids get kidnapped by a Bishop who lives in Spain…

Anyway, Movember.¬† I tried to do Movember this year but Vaxians can’t grow moustaches.¬† I grew some hair around my schlong instead but didn’t raise any money for charity.¬† In¬†fact, it wasn’t specifically for Movember; I’m just lazy and couldn’t be arsed to trim.

This picture was sent in by Jen in London.¬† It shows two lights and a dangly thing that looks like a nose (that Gonzo … Click to read more

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Happy Shisha Makes Me Happy

20121120 Happy shisha face 150x150 Happy Shisha Makes Me HappyI love shishas.¬† I love inhaling smoke from shishas, but I can’t exhale.¬† I am like that war criminal, Tony Blair or that old hag, Margaret Thatcher.¬† Tony didn’t have a reverse gear and Maggie told us she couldn’t turn, though the rest of us could if we wanted to.¬† I can’t exhale.¬† Well, I kind of can, but not through my schlong – only through the vent in the top of my head.

Anyway, enough nonsense… Nick sent in this picture of a happy shisha.¬† Happy shisha makes me happy.

Cheers Nick!… Click to read more

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Docklands Robot

20121104 Docklands light railway robot face 150x150 Docklands RobotA new face spotter in London by the name of Marc sent me this picture of one of those thingies “wot” holds rails in place.¬† It’s on the DLR, or Docklands Light Railway, in London and Marc sees a robot.¬† I do too!

I love robots because they are not human.¬† That’s why I love cats.¬† I know humans feed both cats and Vaxians but I don’t don’t like the way the man always stamps on my eye.¬† It does turn me on – but only because it’s my power switch.¬† Great spot Marc!¬† If you find more please send … Click to read more

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