Tag Archives: christmas

Merry Christmas!

20121225 Grilled Tomato Face 150x150 Merry Christmas!The man recently celebrated his 30th birthday and I wasn’t invited.  I found this photograph of a rather tasty looking grilled tomato on his phone, which was taken at his birthday meal.  Speaking of birthdays, today some of you Earthlings celebrate the birth of some bloke called Jesus.  My knowledge of Earth history isn’t that great, but I understand he liked wine.  Merry Christmas to those of you who give a toss!

Today also happens to be the Vaxian feast of Kh’ali’Qan.  It involves inhaling lots and lots of “spice” and generally doing bugger all.  I can’t remember the origins of the feast but I believe it has something to do with the battle our Great General fought in.  Of course, the Vaxian army won.

Right, I’m going to go back to doing bugger all in honour of our beloved General.  See you all soon!


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Remember Movember

20121205 Lights face movember 150x150 Remember MovemberRemember Movember?  It’s December already and today the crazy Dutch celebrate Sinterklaas – it’s like Christmas, only more racist and naughty kids get kidnapped by a Bishop who lives in Spain…

Anyway, Movember.  I tried to do Movember this year but Vaxians can’t grow moustaches.  I grew some hair around my schlong instead but didn’t raise any money for charity.  In fact, it wasn’t specifically for Movember; I’m just lazy and couldn’t be arsed to trim.

This picture was sent in by Jen in London.  It shows two lights and a dangly thing that looks like a nose (that Gonzo the Great would be proud of).  If you look closely at the pattern in the wallpaper in the background you will see something that resembles a Village People style moustache.  Either very “biker”, or very camp.  I can’t decide.  Nice one, Jen!

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Singing Man gets thrown out of Empty Bar

Man thrown out of bar video thumbnail 150x150 Singing Man gets thrown out of Empty BarThis video was taken over a year ago when I was out with some colleagues.  It was our annual office Christmas dinner.  After the meal a small group of us lost everyone else, for reasons I can’t quite remember (not alcohol-related amnesia, I hasten to add – simply because it’s not important).  I think it was something to do with having to get cash out and arranging to meet everyone in a particular bar.  When we eventually got there we found the place to be near enough empty.  There was one man, who was evidently smashed off his nut and started singing his rendition of What’s up? by 4 Non-Blondes at the top of his voice.  He did a funny little dance and jiggle with it, too!  One of the customers in the bar had the right idea and the end result was pretty funny.

Every effort has been made to conceal the identity of everyone.  If you recognise yourself in the video and wish for the video to be removed please get in touch.  You will need to verify that you are the person in the video by providing your full name and location where you think this video was taken.

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Sucker for a smile…

20101226 Vacuum Cleaner 225x300 Sucker for a smile...You know those Henry vacuum cleaners with faces on? They are an iconic design and a whole family of vacs exists in that range. Not only are they iconic, they are kind of cute. I wonder what inspired the designer to draw a face on it… I visited my parents over Christmas and spotted an accidentatal face in their vacuum cleaner. That’s the second vac I’ve seen with a face on, the other one being my good friend Vic. Makes me wonder if there is a trend here. Maybe designers are hiding faces in their vacuum cleaners in a nod to Henry, in an attempt to subliminally persuade the public that their vacuum cleaner is just as cute. Let’s face it, I’m a sucker for a smile. Ha! Sucker! See what I did there? [cue: tumbleweed]

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