Tag Archives: cigar

Cigars are Cool

20130911 Smoking Component Face 150x150 Cigars are CoolCigars.  What’s the first thing that springs to mind when you think of cigars?  Jimmy Savile?  Bill Clinton?  Fidel Castro?  Saddam Hussein?  Or do you think of Birds of Baldwin Street, the Bristol-based tobacconist, where the old boys used to smoke cigars indoors with the door open, whilst giving excellent customer service?

I happen to think of the man whose airing cupboard I live in.  He is a complete idiot.  He smokes cigars very occasionally, perhaps one or two a year.  Whatever you might think of smoking (it is bad for you and I don’t like habitual cigarette smoking), I think cigars are cool.  Even if the people smoking them aren’t always cool…  This picture shows a component made of steel and it is smoking a fat cigar, looking très cool.  Thanks for this one Edwin!

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Do Anteaters Drink Coffee?

20110916 Coffee machine drip tray gladiatorial face 150x150 Do Anteaters Drink Coffee?Sam in Bristol sent in this rather awesome picture, which he describes in a single word: Gladiatorial.  He adds, “There I was, cleaning my coffee machine, when I saw the shape of the drip tray…”  It does look rather like an ancient war lord clad in armour.  The quality and quantity of submissions is definitely getting better, so keep them coming!

Coffee:  You either love it or hate it – or you don’t have an opinion.  Or maybe you love to hate it.  This is yet another example of a dyscalchotomy (look it up in the Victionary and read other articles containing the word).  Did you know 29 September is National Coffee Day in America?

Many people consume coffee to give them that boost in the morning (or throughout the day) and my friend Liam would surely die if we took caffeine away from him.  Have you seen the Caffeine Poster circulating on the internet?  Follow me on Twitter or Facebook and I will post a link to it.  One of his missions in life is to find a can of a mystical energy drink named Jolt, which packs a mighty near-300 mg punch of caffeine per 12 oz can (that’s 341 ml in proper units).  This is just shy of the intoxication limit.  I gave myself coffee jitters once by downing a pint of strong home-made iced coffee.  The first time I smoked a cigar it had a similar effect on me.  Much fun was had.

The story of coffee

Everyone has a coffee story; I just told you mine.  Yours might well involve beverages other than coffee and those of you who have worked in large offices will no doubt have exchanged stories in the kitchen whilst making a brew.  Who shagged who, who’s giving your boss’ boss head and so on…  But what is the story behind coffee itself?  Whilst I could tap into the internet and educate myself (autocloterrocation), it is much more fun not to know the answer and simply to marvel at the many different steps, nay leaps of imagination required to arrive at the final product.

Think about the ingredients in a standard cup of cappuccino.  Let’s start with the coffee itself, for which we need to pick a red or purple fruit.  But it’s not the fruit we want – oh no, that would be too easy.  We take the seeds inside, ferment them, wash and dry them, roast them, grind them and then pour hot through.  And that’s just to get to the stage of black coffee.  Then there’s sugar, which has its own processes.  And finally there’s frothy milk.  As if taking liquid from a cow wasn’t crazy enough, who was it that thought, “I know what!  I’m going to milk Daisy and pass steam through.  Humph, tastes pretty mediocre…  Needs something that I can’t quite put my finger on…  Sugar?  Chocolate sprinkles?  Aha! Coffee!”

Intolerance

Of course, it didn’t happen like that and this kind of reasoning is similar to die-hard Christians or other religious people claiming that evolution can’t be true.  It’s not worth arguing with them and they are entitled to their opinion as much as I am entitled to mine – about them and their intolerance of other religions, homosexuality and other things not worth arguing about.  Yes, your god is better than mine.  I don’t have one, so fuck you. [Cue: Fuck you, I’m an Anteater!]  Do anteaters drink coffee? If that went over your head, follow me on Twitter or Facebook for links!

I am not really intolerant and I have religious friends (and gay and disabled friends and friends of ethnic minority backgrounds too [Cue:  I must apologise for my nation’s conduct during ze War…]).  Why can’t we all just get along and agree that none of us knows the answers to life’s questions?

Speaking of intolerance, I am slightly intolerant to caffeine, though the degree of it seems to vary from day to day.  Mother Suckerbag suffers from the same condition.  A lady I recently bumped into has the same, yet she keeps drinking coffee anyway.  I do too, because I like the taste of it.  But generally I stick with decaffeinated coffee.  Sometimes when I need a burst of energy and I feel my body will tolerate this xanthine alkaloid, I will take half a teaspoon of normal coffee mixed with a spoonful of decaff.  I call this beverage partially re-caffeinated-decaff, or precaff for short.

Caffeine does add to the taste of coffee and I often wondered what a cup of decaff with ProPlus would taste like.  I call it fre-aducaff: fully re-caffeinated adulterated decaffeinated coffee.  Any takers?

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Smoking: a cool image?

20101101 Cool Smoking Face 300x225 Smoking: a cool image?Before the smoking ban came into force I don’t remember seeing these bins outside pubs much. I’m not a smoker myself, though I have enjoyed the odd cigar in the past – inside pubs, of course. On the one hand I think the ban has taken some of the atmosphere aware from bars, but on the other hand smoking is unhealthy and it is probably for the better. Rights and wrongs and politics aside, the design of this particular bin is striking, in that it looks vaguely like a “cool dude” wearing sunglasses with a fag in its mouth. Whether by design, or by accident, it’s a face nonetheless.

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