Tag Archives: dirty toilet

Rupert Murdoch and Other Shit… Literally

20120222 Hatchet Bristol Toilet Door 150x150 Rupert Murdoch and Other Shit... Literally

Kimberley from Bristol sent in this photograph taken in the toilets at the Hatchet Pub in Bristol.  Just like the stench of a dirty toilet lingering in your nostrils, Rupert Murdoch just won’t go away.

You know when the dog takes a crafty shit in the back seat of your car?  I don’t own a dog, but I have a vivid imagination.  Every time you turn on the air conditioning, the circulating air picks up the whiff of rancid turd every so often and then it goes away again.  You crane your neck, sniff, shrug it off… and repeat.  It’s rather like a good shampoo – or just a poo in this case.

In a similar manner Rupert Murdoch keeps hitting the news with this god-awful non-news story about phone hacking and the related fallout.  And now there’s the dreaded comeback: rumour has it he is going to launch a new Sunday newspaper.  But wait, isn’t that old news?  And does anyone actually give a toss?  Why was that the leading story on some news programmes last week?  It seems it is that and the death of another “celebrity” that has been making the headlines recently.

But what else can we report?  The economy is still in tatters, the Eurozone and Greece are looking as woeful as ever but we’ve all got immune to the effects and stopped caring.  It’s like the boxer Dereck Chisora slapping you in the face over and over.  After the first 500 slaps it stops hurting – hell it even starts to feel soothing.  It is almost as soothing as the giant hand of Zeus coming down from the sky and gently, nay lovingly, caressing you behind your little fwuffy-wuffy ear.  Who’s a cheeky monkey?  YOU are a cheeky monkey!  Tickle-tickle!

Phone Hacking

Poor Britney, though.  No wait, Whitby…  Wilma?  Whatever her name is, Ms Houston had a great voice and had a string of hits to her name that define different stages of many people’s lives.  A friend of mine forwarded one of those quasi-humorous chain texts to me the other day.  It read as follows:

“Rupert Murdoch is said to be deeply touched by the messages of condolence left on Whitney Houston’s phone.”

Hmm, nice allusion to phone hacking, however when was the last time you left a message of condolence on a deceased person’s phone?  It just doesn’t make sense.

What annoys me most about the phone hacking scandal is the fact that most people didn’t care about the dubious ethics being employed by newspapers initially.  They lapped up the deliciously succulent non-news stories about “celebrities” and bought papers in droves, like a cocaine addict searching incessantly for… her next tub of Muller Rice.  Mmm, it’s so delicious.  The public was as much a part of the wrongdoing by facilitating it.  They created the insatiable demand – insatiable until the Milly Dowler story.  When it involved the victim of a murderous paedophile it was all suddenly a step too far.  And don’t we bloody hate paediatricians – erm, I mean paedophiles – in this country…  We’re obsessed with them.  I’m not saying it’s not a heinous crime, but I think in this country we sometimes react disproportionately.

Don’t wet the bed

One final thing that annoys me about this story is the pronunciation of the name “News Corp” – short for News Corporation, of course.  The BBC in particular seem to think it is some sort of army regiment, choosing to pronounce it with a silent ‘p’.

And so, from a silent “number two” in the back of a car, we come full circle and end with a silent pee.  You couldn’t make it up – actually, I just did…

Don’t have nightmares.  Above all, don’t wet the bed.

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Please sir, can we have some more?

20111030 Dutch electrical socket snowman face 150x150 Please sir, can we have some more?20111030 Water meter lid robotic transformers face 150x150 Please sir, can we have some more?20111030 Toilet open mouth face 150x150 Please sir, can we have some more?





These pictures were sent in by Chris and depict a dirty toilet with its mouth open, a snowman (in the form of a Dutch electrical socket) with its mouth obscured and a water meter inspection chamber lid.  All three photographs were taken in Amsterdam. 

The dirty toilet mouth could be a metaphor for talking shit.  Speaking of which, this week saw the European leaders meet at yet another emergency summit (one of many in the last two years) to reach a deal on the EFSF or €1tn bailout fund of worthless paper money or whatever you want to call it.  I call it nihilfoliteracapital.

I can’t believe all the hype that was made around this deadline and the nervousness and volatility in the markets in the days leading up to the agreement.  Did this deadline really have any significance?  After all, it was a self-imposed deadline and what did it really matter, other than the fact that the markets would remain volatile?

Place bets now!

It is incredible how naïve the casinos – sorry, the markets (Freudian slip) – appear to be and how easily swayed they are on the basis of what is effectively nothing but hot air.  There was nothing inherently positive about Wednesday evening’s news of a master plan to tackle the Eurozone’s debt.  Greece received a 50% cancellation of its debt, yet banking shares were up.  Where’s the logic in that?

A 50% haircut is surely tantamount to an incremental default.  Given the massive deficit the country still has, even after implementing austerity measures, I think it is just a matter of time beforeGreecefinally defaults.  The question is, will it be 6 months, 6-18 months or longer than that?  Banzai!  Place bets now!  Bet bet bet!

Betting ends.

Democracy and occupation

Everyone knows that Greece should never have been allowed to join the Euro in the first place, but I suppose there was a political, almost romantic notion of unity in allowing Greece, the fathers of democratic principles to join.  I used to be pro-Euro and politically I still think it is a good idea, provided correct controls are implemented.  Strategically (or more likely by nothing but sheer chance), it turns out that Britain’s decision not to join the Euro was probably a good thing.  If only we had anything to export to the Eurozone and the Eurozone’s economy was strong enough to buy useless trinkets from us, it would be better.

I am not against capitalism, but somewhere down the line our society has got greedy and we have allowed it to get out of hand.  It is this corporate greed and materialism funded by fiat debt that I am against, which is why I support the GIABO, or Global Occupy movement.  To me this movement is not against capitalism per se, as the mainstream media keep suggesting – especially the BBC, whose shoddy journalism has got so intolerable for a number of personal reasons that I try to avoid it.

Please sir, can we have some more?

So, assuming this rescue plan is going to work, where the hell is the €1tn going to come from?  Does it really matter?  Speaking not as an economist (which I am not), but as a cynic, the whole thing sounds like shifting debt around:  it hasn’t disappeared; it is simply owed to others and the banks seem to get a good deal out of this (despite the 50% haircut).

Why don’t we just stick two fingers up at the banks and let Greece default?  The banks are the ones who got us into this mess and now we’ve gone cap in hand, begging China for money so we can repay them.  This, in my opinion, further cements China’s position as the new superpower.  Please sir, can we have some more?

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