Tag Archives: essex

Cockney Girls Like Jug-‘Eds

20120621 Jug Head 150x150 Cockney Girls Like Jug Eds

That’s as much a statement of fact as when I said Essex girls like bags!  Okay, so generalisations aren’t all true but they make good post titles à la Daily Mail [Cue: rightist pun-riddled nonsense].

Anyway, back to the picture… Cockney sisters Jen and Sal sent in yet another awesome picture.  The covering email read as follows:

“This Fathers’ Day jug-‘ed was seen at a restaurant in the heart of the East End -Stratford, home to the Olympics, to be precise.

Jug-‘ed was like the cat that got the cream until we poured his innards out all over our chocolate fudge cakes.

And bloody lovely it tasted too.”

I bet it did! I’m hungry!

Thanks Cockney girls!

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3D Klepon Pac-Man

20120612 Klepon 3D Pacman Face 150x150 3D Klepon Pac Man

My favourite human female from Essex called Emily (okay, I only know one person from Essex :p ), whom I had the pleasure of meeting briefly last week along with “Cider Nick” & Laura (no wait, make that two – she’s from Essex too… Hmm…), sent in this picture of klepon taken in the man’s flat.  It’s my flat really, but humans are so arrogant it’s disgusting.

You’re probably thinking, “Wait, kle-wuh? Wossa’?”

Klepon, I am told, is like sweet Indonesian ravioli.  They are pandan flavoured glutinous rice dough balls filled with Javanese palm sugar (gula jawa) and coated in desiccated coconut.

Sadly the picture doesn’t do the face justice (no offence Em! 😉 ) and you “had to be there” to appreciate the sheer awesomeness.  I wasn’t really there either; I heard the man talking to himself about it afterwards, as he paced around the living room, drooling whilst eating raw carrots before passing out and writhing in his own filth.  Okay, I’m lying about that but the man is an idiot.

Cider Nick squeezed the sides of the ball to force a stress fracture in one side of the klepon to open and close like a little snapping 3D Pac-Man.  The sound effects he made were half the fun.  Much fun was had, apparently.

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Essex Girls Like Bags…

20120612 Lakeside Shopping Centre Essex Handbag Face 150x150 Essex Girls Like Bags...

..all generalisations are true and 47.4% of all statistics are made up by illegal aliens like me.  I love it when people send me emails with pictures and this week has been Essex Galore.  This photograph was sent in by sisters Jen and Sal, who were out shopping at the Lakeside Shopping Centre in Essex.  It depicts a handbag face, rather like the one taken in France in the post Fluorescothugs Suck Bags, but this one is rather more “laid back and couldn’t really give a hoot about things” in the words of Jen and Sal.  Great spot, ladies!  More from Essex up next.

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