Tag Archives: fridge

Cute and delicious

20130908 Door Parrot Face 150x150 Cute and deliciousAnimals are interesting in that they are both cute and delicious.  As a Vaxian I don’t care too much where my food has come from; I crash landed on a strange blue planet and I had to survive, so I made myself eat whatever I could find on the floor… or in the man’s fridge.    Edwin sent in this picture of a door parrot.  It’s interesting how animals manifest themselves in the home, in places you’d least expect.  Finding mice, cockroaches or silverfish is quite common but random parrots?  Maybe on board a pirate ship…  I had a Varrot on board my space ship; it’s like a Vaxian parrot.  I taught him Vaxian swear words.  It has to be done, otherwise you might as well keep a chicken!

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The Scream

20130507 Recaro car seat scream face 150x150 The ScreamI have to confess I have sucked bags at uploading photographs lately.  The man has spent a lot of time with his girlfriend lately and also left the country for a few days to meet some family and friends in The Netherlands.  I have basically had the flat to myself a lot and have done very little.  I have raided the man’s fridge several times, watched Babestation (humans are disgusting) and generally not got round to posting pictures.  Anyway, Jennie sent in a picture ages ago, so here it is.  She wrote:

“Does this look like a face? It’s a Recaro car seat. A bit like a cream Scream mask from the film Scream!”  It’s a really good one, complete with nose and all.  Apologies for the delay Jen… I suck… bags.

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Where’s Wally?

On Tuesday a fine human female – or so I understand; humans disgust me (especially the editor) – called Emily sent me an email with a couple of photographs attached.  Emily (the Vaxian equivalent of which is Q’ahmahx) is a Bristol-based food blogger and runs the very successful Bristol Bites website.  As I understand it, Em was out hunting wild boar, catching salmon and gathering pots of Onken yoghurt in the Yeo Valley earlier in the week (okay, that’s all lies apart from the Yeo Valley bit) and somehow ended up with the mahusive bowl of salad shown below.

 20120531 Salad Bowl 1024x682 Wheres Wally?

In her email she challenged me to spend some time looking at the photograph to see whether I could spot the face – a bit like Where’s Wally? (or Where’s Waldo? if you’re American or Canadian) or the alternative popular book Where’s Bin Laden?  The latter comes with a very cool Fresnel magnifying glass.

Despite clear instructions in the email, the editor failed (EPIC FAIL!) and scrolled straight down to the second photograph revealing the answer.  It’s a bit like when you tell someone, “Don’t look at that man over there with the big nose and orange toupée …”  In the editor’s defence the answer was kind of given away in the instructions.  But the editor is still a tosser.  Where’s Wally?  There’s the wally…

So, take a couple of minutes and see if you can spot the face.  Then scroll down.  I’ll go and raid the editor’s fridge whilst you do that.  If you stare long enough you’ll see it in 3D…

…not really…

Ready? Now scroll down for the reveal.





[keep scrolling]





…and here it is. Très cool, n’est-ce pas?  [Cue: Ja, for shure!].  Many thanks Emilyna! 😉

20120531 Tomato face Wheres Wally?

Have you seen a face anywhere?  Send it to me or the editor.  Don’t forget to follow the editor on Twitter. Alternatively you can add me, Vic Suckerbag, as a friend on Facebook




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Five a day

20110326 Building eating greens 150x150 Five a day

I have had a block of garlic butter in my fridge for a month or so, which I originally bought to go with a nice steak.  I think it might have been a rib eye steak, but it could equally well have been anything else.  You see, I don’t know much about steak except that I like it rare and that it can be quite expensive.  It’s one of those things I want to learn more about but never seem to get round to.  Cooking is something I don’t have much time for but when I do I find it relaxing.  The only problem is it always seems to take four times as long to cook something as it does to eat.  Perhaps the solution is to cook larger portions and freeze some as a healthier alternative to ready meals.  Well, healthier or not, that depends on what you’re cooking! 🙂

Last week I made myself the promise of cooking more from scratch and I am currently on a chips ban.  Not that I ate chips every day or anything, but it is definitely something to limit to once a week, or less in my case – even those famous McCain’s Oven Chips that I tend to buy, that boast as little as “5% fat, 5% fat, 5% faaaaaaaat…”

Spring has come around and it is time to lose some of the winter pounds, ready for the summer and this time, hopefully beyond.  It is like a new year’s resolution, except it started at an arbitrary date of my choosing, loosely coinciding with the start of spring.  I am by no means fat, but I there is definitely some winter excess, which I seem to hide quite well.

Fruit and veg is the way to go and I have been eating a fair amount of it in the last two weeks.  The thing is, my appetite for fruit and veg seems to decline in the winter months – maybe because fruit is cold or because of its naturally lower calorific content it is less appealing to a body trying to keep warm – I’m not a biologist or dietician.  Despite this, they recommend 5 portions of fruit and vegetables a day.  Who are they?  Are they the same they that said it was going to rain?  Or are they a different they?  That’s one for another article!

In order to use up the garlic butter I decided to try to make some home-made garlic bread.  What to buy?  Obviously I wasn’t intent on eating it all in a single meal, as that would be an artery-clogging quantity of garlic butter and a half for a single meal.  So I bought a six-pack of mini baguettes and some parsley, which I chopped up with a new carving knife I purchase a couple of weeks ago, mixed with the garlic butter and wedged into grooves cut into the baguettes.  They now live a quiet life in the freezer waiting to be shoved in the oven and tasted.  I have no idea whether they are any good but they certainly look the part and what’s more, as they are mini baguettes they are perfectly sized for individual portions as a side, unlike the ready made ones you get in the supermarket.  Mine use less butter as well, and as they are home made, I can be fairly certain that there is no junk in them – except what was in the garlic butter (though according to the packaging only butter and crushed garlic) and the mini baguettes… Hmmm…

Problem: After I had made the garlic bread I was left with an over-abundance of parsley in the fridge.  So I made egg-fried rice and managed to freeze some for later.  But there is still a lorry load of parley left in the fridge to use by the end of today.

The above scenario reminds me of croissant syndrome – a phrase coined by a friend of the family several years ago (circa 1998 – yikes!).  Basically it is derived from the condition of having a croissant with jam, finishing said croissant but having a significant amount of jam left on your plate and being forced to eat another croissant to finish the jam, only to finish all the jam but now having excess croissant…  The remedy?  More jam!  And so the process repeats itself until either food source runs out or your stomach explodes.  I have to say I prefer croissants with cheese and ham.

My parsley conundrum combined with a drive to cook more, has inspired me to do some food association.  It is like word association but with food and it should result in a food chain or sorts, but not in the conventional sense.  Basically, I am going to try to cook something else with parsley today, which will inevitably lead to an excess of another ingredient.  My challenge will be to use up the excess of that ingredient in another dish.  Hopefully I will learn some new (hopefully quick) recipes in the process and will waste less food and eat healthier.  Those of you who have read other posts will know I hate waste.

By the way, the picture is a building on the harbourside in Bristol, England.  It is a walkthrough to a courtyard, I think, and it has a plant pot in front of it.  To me it looked like a face about to devour its greens – plate and all.  That’s got to be at least two of its five a day!  One disturbing thought is that it also eats people…

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