Tag Archives: max keiser

Economic Doom and Gloom: A Starbucks Dystopia

20111203 Massage Chair Face 150x150 Economic Doom and Gloom: A Starbucks Dystopia

This picture of a massage chair was sent in by Tim. If only it had been framed a little lower it would have been perfect.  Are you sitting comfortably?

There was more economic doom and gloom this week and about a week ago I tweeted a story about the OECD predicting a double-dip recession for the UK in 2012.  The mainstream media reported the story two days later.  In George Osborne’s Autumn Statement growth for 2011 was slashed to 0.9% and the pension age raised to 67 –  fifteen years earlier than planned.  Public sector workers went on strike over pension arrangements, mistakenly believing they have the God-given right to be exempt from the Global Financial Catastrophe.  I don’t generally subscribe to Tory slogans and ideology, but did someone say, “We’re all in this together”?  Give that man a biscuit and his dog a cigar!  Most of us would be lucky if we could retire at all.

10 days until Eurogeddon

In another corner of Europe, EU Monetary Affairs Commissioner Olli Rehn warned that we had “10 days to save the Euro”.  With previous warnings that another Eurozone country bailout would spell disaster for the global economy, this should have had us trembling in our boots.  The thing is, headlines like these are beginning to lose their impact.  It’s a bit like crying wolf, except there really is a wolf and it’s such a gigantic ravenous bastard, there’s nothing you can do; it will eat you and all your friends but no-one cares anymore.

But really, 10 days?  We have known about this crisis for months and we’ve had that long to do something about it.  Why the sudden self-imposed urgency that’s only going to aggravate markets when deadlines are inevitable missed?  Incidentally, those bilateral liquidity swap arrangements: did you see the markets jump on the news?  Utter nonsense in my opinion; I suspect we’ll see a “correction” in the near future (he says, writing as a bewildered cynic).

As I write, there is talk of a Eurozone fiscal union and an new EU treaty, which actually sounds quite exciting, particularly when watching a debate between Nigel Farage (UKIP) and Matt Hancock (Conservatives) on Channel 4 News last night, in which the Conservative Party looked refreshingly progressive, albeit because their hand is being forced.  Stability has to be good for the Eurozone and for Britain.

I’m keeping my eyes on the Italian 10- year bond yield, though.

Starbucks Dystopia

In a previous article I rhetorically posed the question about the end game in global economics.  Jon Snow of Channel 4 News fame recently tweeted that 2011 is the year the “expert” died, referring to the fact that no-one had predicted the Arab Spring.  By extension, there are so many so-called financial “experts” who have disparate outlooks; the gold bugs, the doom mongers, the profiteers like Alessio Rastani (who incidentally predicted a collapse of a large UK-based bank in early 2012 based on unconfirmed rumours in the city).  Max Keiser thinks we are all going to end up playing Zynga games in virtual gulags.

My dystopian vision for the future? Last week it was reported that November saw a decline in manufacturing, it being at its lowest in 2.5 years, whilst Starbucks announced it would create 5,000 jobs in the UK.  I reckon we will all end up working for Starbucks, serving each other coffee, the same coins going round and round in a poverty-inducing vicious circle, as we all become ever more addicted to caffeine.

Are you still sitting comfortably?

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The Man from Hell: Monti

20111118 Japanese Bagel Face 150x150 The Man from Hell: Monti

Sam sent in a picture of a bagel, which he took on his recent travels in Japan.  It resembles a big fat screaming zero reflecting the big fat zero for democracy and market confidence this week.

There was a massive scramble to appoint Mario Monti – affectionately dubbed Super Mario – last Sunday night, in readiness for the opening of the markets.  And mamma mia, despite their best intentions, somewhat predictably the markets simply didn’t feel the love and remained nervous.  Stocks fell whilst Italian bond yields crept perilously close to the magic 7% mark, even exceeding it at times.  Next up: Spain?

In my previous article I discussed the superficial merits of having a technocratic government and used a haemorrhoids surgeon as an example of why a specialist in a specialist position could be a good thing – in theory.  But with the former Vice President of the ECB taking over the helm of the Greek submarine (admit it people, the ship’s already sunk and the passengers are picking their halloumi salad off the ocean floor) and now Mario Monti taking over Italy, things are looking a bit grim for democracy.  Let’s call it mockracy.

The man from Del Monte, he say “Yes!”

On the EC website Mario Monti is listed as being on the advisory board of the Coca Cola Company and when I mentioned this to Dr Constantin Gurdgiev (who recently appeared on the Keiser Report on RT – Russia Today) on Twitter, his response was, “I don’t think fizzy drinks is what 1 has in mind when financial bailouts are at play.”


Perhaps more sinister is the fact that Monti is also an international advisor to Goldman Sachs.  Max Keiser famously described GS as “scum” and trader Alessio Rastani unduly caused a stir when he spoke frankly about the markets in an interview on the BBC and said “Goldman Sachs rule the world”. 

Do you believe him now?  Excuse me, I have a bad taste in my mouth and am going to have to throw up.  Bear with me a tick. [Cue: retches over the sink]

If you remember the old Del Monte adverts, the Man from Del Monte would land his helicopter in an orchard in some exotic country, donning his trademark all-white suit and hat, upon which he would sample some of the local produce and cast his judgment on the quality of the fruit.  Invariably the crowd would exclaim, “The man from Del Monte, he say ‘YES’”.

Will Mr Monti say “yes” to the men (and women) from Hell at Goldman Sachs?  It is a perfectly legitimate question.  Does this man’s loyalty lie with Italy and the people or will he simply serve the banking elite and suck the blood and every last strand of spaghetti out of every Italian to line the coffers of the 1%?

The Full Monti

Another question that troubles me is whether there are adequate measures to depose Monti and Lucas Papademos, the former being both Prime Minister and Finance Minster.  If only he were defence secretary as well, he’d be The Full Monti. [Groans]

Since these technocrats weren’t voted in, they surely can’t be voted out.  If the austerity measures carry on biting and there is no democratic means of unseating them, then surely civil disobedience is the only option available – not that I am not condoning or condemning it.

But democracy has been a fallacy for years and arguably nothing’s new, for money has always bought power.  No politician really listens to the people.  They have to pander to the elite to get the funds to stay in power in a vicious circle that’s equivalent to a man eating his own testicles… or something.  No-one gets into power without a lorry load of money up their arse.  Remember the donation and tax evasion scandals?  Did someone say “Belize”?

Of course, the British electoral system is far from democratic.  Just look at the figures from the last general election in 2010: the Conservatives (under Cameron’s leadership) got 10,703,754 votes compared with Labour and the Lib Democrats’ 8,609,527 and 6,836,824 respectively.  Not only is that an overwhelming progressive majority, but with the overall turnout being a mere 65%, it becomes apparent that David Cameron’s mandate looks pretty flimsy.  When you do the maths, it turns out more people didn’t vote than actually voted for the Tories.  Enough said.

As Cameron and Merkel met to discuss the Eurozone crisis the uncertainty remained.  Whatever next for the Eurozone?  Whatever next for democracy.  Cast your votes in the comments box below.  Unlike politicians and technocrats, I will read them.

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If you’re happy and you know it…

20111019 Gum Cigarette Bin Jihadi or Ninja Face 150x150 If youre happy and you know it...

This picture was sent in by Ravi.  It is a chewing gum and cigarette bin – what a combination and what an age we live in!  Is that where Nicorette got their idea of nicotine chewing gum from? (Other brands are available)

This is a beautiful photograph – definitely among the highest quality submissions – and the face is reminiscent of a figure wearing a balaclava.  Is it a ninja or a jihadi?  The parabolic light arcs on the railings just above the head give the illusion of horns, which have an association with (one form or another of) the Devil in many cultures and thus signify evil.  This juxtaposition can only mean one thing: jihad.

All the rage 

Remember when jihad was all the rage back in the 2000s?  Remember the headlines time and again when police forces across the country carried out raids on (mostly innocent) Muslims, resulting in scores of people being arrested under the Terrorism Act 2000 and detained?  Many of these people were eventually released without charge but this was never reported by the media and all the while their names were out there being blackened.  How can a system of restorative justice ever prevail if the media are allowed to report full names of suspects?

This same injustice applies across the board, cf. Christopher Jefferies, whose name was smeared by the press and whose release without charge was covered only as an afterthought – in the small print if you will.

If you’re happy and you know it…

No-one ever seems to talk about the supposed threat of Islamic terrorism anymore and flavour of the month – the new terror on everyone’s lips – has shifted towards the economy, the Greek bailout and other financial misery.  Those of you who follow Max Keiser will no doubt have heard him speak of Jihadi Bankers.

Another case where the mainstream press (particularly the BBC) have got it wrong is in the lack of coverage of the Occupy Wall Street movement, or the GIABO (Global Insurrection Against Banker Occupation) that has spread globally.  The only station that seems to cover this regularly is RT.

Yesterday it was announced that the UK inflation rate hit 5.2%, which is appalling for savers – those who have worked hard and lived within their means.  To those with less self-control than a monkey with tourettes (or tourettes monkey), who spend, spend, spend like buggery, this would appear to be a dream, as their debt is inflated away.  But then consider the scandalous interest rates greedy banks such as HSBC charge on credit cards, overdrafts and loans.  All this whilst the base rate of interest stands at a mere 0.5%.  Combine this with unemployment now standing at 2.57m, is it any wonder that the UK Misery Index now stands at a 19-year high?

State-sponsored fraud

Mervyn King has gleefully printed £275 billion in worthless fiat money in what is termed Quantitative Easing.  It sounds posh, therefore it must be effective (read: bollocks).  Vic would call it bambolloconomy.

QE was supposed to encourage cheap credit and give the economy a kick up the arse, so that we could spend our way back into economic expansion, at which point the gilts would be sold back and destroyed.  In effect it’s a phantom loan of phantom money, borrowing some of tomorrow’s economic productivity to fund today’s.  The only trouble is there’s no actual wealth and today we manufacture the sum total of bugger all in this country.

A significant proportion of this country’s GDP comes from state-sponsored fraud in the city and the only thing QE appears to have done is given banks more free money to gamble, whilst leaving small businesses and individuals with less money than they had before, due to heavy inflation and so a reduction in purchasing power.

Where will it all end?  Don’t ask me; I’m not an economist or an analyst for that matter.  I merely write opinion around faces in objects.  Stick that in your roll-up and smoke it!  And don’t forget to put your stub in the cigarette bin provided.

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A Catholic bear told me

20110928 Bewildered grit bin 150x150 A Catholic bear told meSam in Bristol sent in this picture of a graffitied grit bin looking bewildered.  Do these bins ever get used?  Somehow they always seem to fill up with junk, such as empty cans of Special Brew and other shit that chavs toss by the wayside.

We’ve had two bitterly cold winters in a row, so you’d expect these grit bins to be maintained and cleaned out once in a while.  But then this is Great Britain and we are a poor country in economic ruin.  As Max Keiser keeps saying, buy gold and silver, people!  Do it now!  Buy a big fuck-off cheese grater as well, so you can pay for your groceries with gold shavings!  Wait – it doesn’t work like that…

So, is graffiti art or is it vandalism?  Is looting vandalism?  Is high frequency trading on the stock exchange looting?  So many questions…  For answers to the latter, you’d better start watching the Keiser Report on RT, with the man himself and Stacy Herbert.  I find it very educational, being from a technical – not a financial – background and knowing the sum total of le Jacques Merde about economics.

Two dogs, one bucket

On the subject of graffiti, it is undeniably art in the same way that Goldman Sachs are scum (in the words of Max Keiser).  And yes, in answer to the age-old question, I can certify that the Pope does indeed shit in the woods; a Catholic bear told me.  In fact, apparently sometimes the excrement comes out of his mouth, especially when he talks about homosexuality and abortion.  I’m told it’s a sight to behold.

Whether or not graffiti is to your artistic taste is another matter.  If a knobhead like Damien Hirst can put a dead shark in a box, call it art and sell it for millions of pounds, then surely a painstakingly produced picture on a wall is art too, whether that’s a fresco by Leonardo da Vinci or a piece of graffiti (not including so-called “tags”; I don’t see the point of those).

I had a fantastic idea for a piece of art myself whilst showing a friend around the Arnolfini art gallery in Bristol: get an iPhone, chuck it in a bucket and smash it to pieces and get two Labradors to empty their bowels onto it.  Film the whole thing and toss the DVD into the bucket for good measure.

I call it Two dogs, one bucket.

The rise of street art

The Arnolfini is a nice idea, but invariably the installations are a suckerbag of toss.  The anticipation of going to the Arnolfini always seems more pleasing than the art installations themselves.  I call it articipointment.

Street art has seen gains in popularity in recent years, partly due to the Banksy effect.  One thing that gets on my tits is wanky (upper) middle class twats, or so-called “Champagne Socialists”, jumping onto the bandwagon, wanting a slice of the action – not for the appreciation of the picture, but for the tame quasi-anti-establishment sentiment that is associated with it.  It’s the same toff-style rebellion during a game of football that saw the birth of rugby.  If I had picked up a football during my PE lessons as a schoolboy, I would have been severely bollocked by my teacher – none of this, “Bravo Vic, that’s a spiffing game; we’ll call it Evesham”.

You often see the Champagne Socialists on Nelson Street in Bristol, stopping in the middle of the pavement, taking photographs of the See No Evil project.  I don’t object to people who genuinely appreciate the artwork; it’s just those gawkers that block the pavement…  I call them wanksyarretators.

On a positive note, the project has brought many visitors to the city, as has the gorilla project and the pianos two years ago.  However, my prediction about the gorilla project came true in that one gorilla was vandalised, just like a street piano was two years ago.  I didn’t particularly dig the gorillas, but being a pianist I thought the pianos were amazing!

By the way, I heard from a very reliable undisclosed source that the old Magistrates court is being knocked down next year.  So you’d better get snapping – but only if you appreciate the art for what it is, or if you’re coming from abroad and you’re going to spend your money here.  Drachmas will be warmly received.

Bins and faces

There seems to be an almost universal human fascination with bins and faces.  I have come across another one like this elsewhere in Bristol, as shown here:

20110928 Grit bin face with drunk 300x225 A Catholic bear told me

A girl I was dating back in November last year took a picture of another bin with eyes drawn on.  She went on to snog some other guy and I never saw her again.  I would post the picture here to create a little bin family, but partly out of fear of possible claims of copyright infringement or some bollocks like that, you’ll have to take my word for it.  Hey, this is my website and I can post whatever god-damned pictures I want! But really, I do post all images submitted to me, so if you’ve seen a face in an object, get in touch!

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