Tag Archives: middle finger

Nein Fräulein, Non Monsieur

20111210 Handbag Fastener Face 150x150 Nein Fräulein, Non MonsieurKim sent in a picture of her handbag and at an EU summit it could have been handbags at dawn when David Cameron told the European Union to go “do one” after asking for too much.  But politicians are way too boring for that – or are they?

Earlier this week Merkel and Sarkozy (affectionately dubbed Merkozy) had another hot date in Paris.  It was Bunga Bunga Berlusconi who had famously called the German Chancellor an “unfuckable lard-arse” but clearly tiny Sarkozy begged to differ.  At this stage in their relationship you would expect them to limit their physical contact to holding hands, Sarko giving Merkel the odd peck on the cheek whilst standing on a stepladder.  But the two lovebirds did one better and Mrs Merkel laid a golden egg (or turd?): a plan of European fiscal unity – a new treaty with legal powers to penalise countries for overspending and so on, in an attempt to create greater stability and tackle the debt crisis.

Merkel and Sarko were soon looking outside their relationship for another partner with whom they met up on Thursday: David Cameron.  The Germans used to like the Brits and have often relied on support from Britain in European matters.  Despite Cameron’s public school background and presumed experience of man-on-man kinkiness, he was evidently not kinky enough to form a CaMerKozy love triangle and decided to turn his back on the European Union.  It was a firm “Nein, Fräulein! Non monsieur!” from David, in a supposed “veto”, which looked more like the uncool macho wannabe-bully-boy falling off his bike and running to his mummy crying.  The rest of Europe stuck their collective middle finger up and left Britain behind.  “We” thought we were so big and clever.

A week is a long time in politics

So what has Cameron achieved?  He has temporarily saved the casino that brings in an unhealthy proportion of the country’s GDP through unregulated looting of pension funds by high frequency trading, gambling QE cash injection money and tax dodging.  Hooray for rampant capitalism!  The long term outlook is even less rosy.

The EU is one of the great trading partners of the UK – in fact nearly half of Britain’s exports go to the EU, making it the single biggest export market.  With Britain now firmly on the sidelines of the European Union, increasingly marginalised with less say in the legislative process, we will still have to abide by the same rules and with no power to change things.  This was a point made very well by Matt Hancock in a debate with Nigel Farage on Channel 4 News last week, which made the Conservatives look remarkably Europhilic.  As they say, a week is a long time in politics.

Politics, Bollock-tics

Politics, fascinating though it is, is all bollocks (bollock-tics) and the crisis we face goes beyond politics.  This week Standard and Poor’s put a number of countries and the EFSF on negative credit watch.  It is perfectly reasonable to ask, “Yeah, but who the hell do S&P think they are?”  But whether you like it or not, it does matter in my opinion, because the powers that be believe in it.  In the same way this intrinsically worthless piece of paper in my wallet will buy me a food, energy, transport – hell, even a dog turd in a bucket if I so desired.  Man, is there nothing this magic piece of paper won’t do for me?

Any new treaty will only really enforce austerity and won’t promote growth, so structural deficit will not be helped by all this political nonsense and sooner or later the likes of Greece, Italy and Spain will be hit with fines and we’ll be back to square one – except it will 2012 and another year of economic stagnation will have passed.

Thursday’s “Nein Fräulein” will no doubt have set a precedent and we will probably see the rise of Euro-sceptics in the UK, asking for more and more.  Will Britain exit the EU before Greece exits the Euro?  Will the Con-Dem coalition fall apart?

Ich weiss es nicht.

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Raining Hundreds & Thousands…of raindrops

cabot circus catwalk 150x150 Raining Hundreds & Thousands...of raindropsI have a widget (or “gadget” in Windows 7 parlance) on my desktop PC at work, which tells me the current weather in Bristol, England.  As I was getting ready to leave the office for the day the current weather read “Sprinkles”.  “Mmmm, spinkles,” I thought and imagined what kind of sprinkles I might be faced with outside.  Would it be chocolate sprinkles?  Could it be hundreds and thousands, perchance…  Alas, it was neither and I was drenched in bog standard H2O: rain.  But at least it was fairly mild.

Last week was absolutely freezing again and I happened to have the week off work.  I had some reports to write and some web design to do, but on the 5th day I rested.  I went out for a stroll into town and happened upon a catwalk in Cabot Circus.  Apparently Gok Wan was in town.  Pardon?  No, nor me, but apparently he’s famous… 😉  As I gazed down upon the stage from one of the many bridges, I thought it looked like a massive hand sticking up its middle finger as if to say, “Cold weather, be gone!”  A week later it was.  But now it’s raining.  Be careful what you wish for.

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