Tag Archives: twitter

Where’s Wally?

On Tuesday a fine human female – or so I understand; humans disgust me (especially the editor) – called Emily sent me an email with a couple of photographs attached.  Emily (the Vaxian equivalent of which is Q’ahmahx) is a Bristol-based food blogger and runs the very successful Bristol Bites website.  As I understand it, Em was out hunting wild boar, catching salmon and gathering pots of Onken yoghurt in the Yeo Valley earlier in the week (okay, that’s all lies apart from the Yeo Valley bit) and somehow ended up with the mahusive bowl of salad shown below.

 20120531 Salad Bowl 1024x682 Wheres Wally?

In her email she challenged me to spend some time looking at the photograph to see whether I could spot the face – a bit like Where’s Wally? (or Where’s Waldo? if you’re American or Canadian) or the alternative popular book Where’s Bin Laden?  The latter comes with a very cool Fresnel magnifying glass.

Despite clear instructions in the email, the editor failed (EPIC FAIL!) and scrolled straight down to the second photograph revealing the answer.  It’s a bit like when you tell someone, “Don’t look at that man over there with the big nose and orange toupée …”  In the editor’s defence the answer was kind of given away in the instructions.  But the editor is still a tosser.  Where’s Wally?  There’s the wally…

So, take a couple of minutes and see if you can spot the face.  Then scroll down.  I’ll go and raid the editor’s fridge whilst you do that.  If you stare long enough you’ll see it in 3D…

…not really…

Ready? Now scroll down for the reveal.

 

 

 

 

[keep scrolling]

 

 

 

 

…and here it is. Très cool, n’est-ce pas?  [Cue: Ja, for shure!].  Many thanks Emilyna! 😉

20120531 Tomato face Wheres Wally?

Have you seen a face anywhere?  Send it to me or the editor.  Don’t forget to follow the editor on Twitter. Alternatively you can add me, Vic Suckerbag, as a friend on Facebook

 

 

 

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Happy Thoughts and Inconvenient Truths

20120107 Smiling Train Tray Clip 150x150 Happy Thoughts and Inconvenient Truths

Gideon sent in this picture taken on an international train in The Netherlands.  Look at its smile! It is happy!  And a happy new year to you too!  As we entered the new year, David Cameron tried to force a smile too.

In his New Year statement Cameron attempted to “big up” the UK in 2012 and force happiness against a backdrop of numerous murder stories in the last couple of weeks and, of course, more pending economic doom and gloom.  He attempted to make us feel positive by focusing on the opportunities ahead.  After all, 2012 is the year of the long-awaited Olympic Games in London.  Also, some old lady is celebrating some 60th anniversary or other… Was it the 60th anniversary of the Queen’s membership of the Bratwurst Appreciation Society or something?  I forget, but it’s another day off work, so what’s not to like?  It’s also a day of lost productivity in the UK.  But the state of the economy is an inconvenient truth and no-one wants to hear bad news.  Happy, happy, happy – be happy.  Get it?

Other interesting events this year’s calendar include the UEFA Euro 2012 (where we will see The Netherlands become European Champions) and the US Presidential Election.  On reflection there isn’t an awful lot on in the first half of the year, so it’s a great time for hibernation and pretty much feeling miserable if you’re that way inclined… No!  Be happy!

An Inconvenient Truth

All credit to David Cameron for trying to sound positive – the silly “posh white boy”, to quote Diane Abbott.  Ah yes, she made the news again this week over more racially charged comments, but this time on Twitter.  In case you managed to miss this item of non-news, she made a sweeping generalisation about white people and mentioned “colonialism”.  Whilst this was obviously a poor judgment on her part considering she is a Member of Parliament, I think it has been taken out of proportion and it was clearly meant to be read in context.

There is a broader truth that we in the West have for a long time oppressed people in the Far East, the Middle East, in Africa and so on and the error she made was in trying to condense that sentiment into 140 characters.  I get the impression this is just another inconvenient truth people don’t want to hear about and instead pick out one small detail.  Don’t get me wrong, I have no particular affinity for Ms Abbott; I am merely an observer, looking at (not watching) the show from a distance. 

Discrimination and Inequality

There are other forms of discrimination that ought to have everyone up in arms on a similar scale but don’t.  Here is an example written in the format of a Twitteresque soundbite:

Pay gap between men and women stood at 9.1% in November 2011” (61 Characters)

The Independent newspaper seemed to put a positive spin on that story at the time, saying that it was down from 10.1% in April.  But that’s still a large gap based on nothing but gender discrimination.

From racial discrimination, to gender discrimination to inequality: Here’s another one for you, from an article in The Guardian newspaper:

Top 10% have incomes 12 times greater than bottom 10%, up from eight times greater in 1985, thinktank’s study reveals.” (118 characters)

No mass media furore resulted.  It’s just another bit of bad news that we can’t do anything about, so let’s not talk about it.  An inconvenient truth. Happy, happy, happy thoughts… Right?

Now come clap your hands with me!

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An idiot abroad

20111105 Karl Pilkington Hat Face 150x150 An idiot abroad

This image was sent in by Sam, whose cat now has a blog too (follow me on Twitter for a link).  It is a screenshot from the TV programme An Idiot Abroad and shows the side of Karl Pilkington’s hat

Needless to say the hat has a face.  I call it a capelofascia.  Sam sent this to me just before he was about to go on holiday to Japan, commenting that it was “…particularly apposite since I am popularly regarded as something of an idiot and will be abroad tomorrow”.  His own self-deprecating words; I can’t comment.

Speaking of idiots abroad, Dutch Engineer Vincent Tabak was found guilty of murdering Joanna Yeates recently.  Oh how judgemental of me to call him an idiot!  I’ve waited for a while for the dust to settle on this story – a good measure is usually when tabloid newspapers (such as the Bristol Evening Post) stop smearing the person with allegations of paedophilia and his supposed fascination with asphyxiation porn.  Yes, the guy killed someone and he sounds like the kind of guy I wouldn’t want to be friends with, but it’s not up to the public or the press to administer punishment.  That is up to the courts and the criminal justice system and they have done their job.  Leave him and Jo Yeates’ family and friends alone now please.

Trial by jury

We have a justice system where the media is allowed to continue reporting on a trial, giving daily updates on what was said in court and then we expect 12 members of the public to make a fair judgment.  Not being judgemental, but most people are easily swayed and don’t know how to think objectively for themselves.  I wouldn’t trust 12 members of the public chosen at random to decide my fate; I wouldn’t even trust myself to decide on someone else’s.  I am a structural engineer by training and am used to critical analysis, but I am definitely not trained to weigh up evidence.  Moreover I am not trained to do so objectively without letting my judgment be clouded by emotions.

I think a panel of judges should decide.  In the past people’s main argument against this was that the highest court in the country was the House of Lords and, taking the Hutton Inquiry as an example, it is evident that if justice is mixed with politics – the law making mixed with its application – you get white washes and judgments in favour of those in power.  Having an appeal decided by someone who is possibly motivated by politics is never a good thing, but now that we have a Supreme Court I’d like to think this argument is no longer valid.

Death penalty

In other articles I read immediately following the Tabak verdict, it was said that Yeates’ parents wished the death penalty had been an option.  I can’t begin to understand what it must feel like to lose a daughter and nor can I begin to understand what it must feel like to lose a son.  Catch my drift?  I think the death penalty doesn’t punish the right person: one moment they’re here, the next they’re not and couldn’t give the faintest of fucks, for they are dead and can’t feel anything.  The only people unduly punished by it are the murderer’s family and friends.  They are generally not the ones that need punishing and have usually gone through enough already, dealing with the shock that their friend or son/daughter is a murderer.  I find the whole idea of the death absurd and perverse.

Have a look at the link to a video on my Twitter feed and official Facebook Page.  It shows an American guy receiving a death sentence and the emotional storm that ensues.  Does it make you happy?

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Do Anteaters Drink Coffee?

20110916 Coffee machine drip tray gladiatorial face 150x150 Do Anteaters Drink Coffee?Sam in Bristol sent in this rather awesome picture, which he describes in a single word: Gladiatorial.  He adds, “There I was, cleaning my coffee machine, when I saw the shape of the drip tray…”  It does look rather like an ancient war lord clad in armour.  The quality and quantity of submissions is definitely getting better, so keep them coming!

Coffee:  You either love it or hate it – or you don’t have an opinion.  Or maybe you love to hate it.  This is yet another example of a dyscalchotomy (look it up in the Victionary and read other articles containing the word).  Did you know 29 September is National Coffee Day in America?

Many people consume coffee to give them that boost in the morning (or throughout the day) and my friend Liam would surely die if we took caffeine away from him.  Have you seen the Caffeine Poster circulating on the internet?  Follow me on Twitter or Facebook and I will post a link to it.  One of his missions in life is to find a can of a mystical energy drink named Jolt, which packs a mighty near-300 mg punch of caffeine per 12 oz can (that’s 341 ml in proper units).  This is just shy of the intoxication limit.  I gave myself coffee jitters once by downing a pint of strong home-made iced coffee.  The first time I smoked a cigar it had a similar effect on me.  Much fun was had.

The story of coffee

Everyone has a coffee story; I just told you mine.  Yours might well involve beverages other than coffee and those of you who have worked in large offices will no doubt have exchanged stories in the kitchen whilst making a brew.  Who shagged who, who’s giving your boss’ boss head and so on…  But what is the story behind coffee itself?  Whilst I could tap into the internet and educate myself (autocloterrocation), it is much more fun not to know the answer and simply to marvel at the many different steps, nay leaps of imagination required to arrive at the final product.

Think about the ingredients in a standard cup of cappuccino.  Let’s start with the coffee itself, for which we need to pick a red or purple fruit.  But it’s not the fruit we want – oh no, that would be too easy.  We take the seeds inside, ferment them, wash and dry them, roast them, grind them and then pour hot through.  And that’s just to get to the stage of black coffee.  Then there’s sugar, which has its own processes.  And finally there’s frothy milk.  As if taking liquid from a cow wasn’t crazy enough, who was it that thought, “I know what!  I’m going to milk Daisy and pass steam through.  Humph, tastes pretty mediocre…  Needs something that I can’t quite put my finger on…  Sugar?  Chocolate sprinkles?  Aha! Coffee!”

Intolerance

Of course, it didn’t happen like that and this kind of reasoning is similar to die-hard Christians or other religious people claiming that evolution can’t be true.  It’s not worth arguing with them and they are entitled to their opinion as much as I am entitled to mine – about them and their intolerance of other religions, homosexuality and other things not worth arguing about.  Yes, your god is better than mine.  I don’t have one, so fuck you. [Cue: Fuck you, I’m an Anteater!]  Do anteaters drink coffee? If that went over your head, follow me on Twitter or Facebook for links!

I am not really intolerant and I have religious friends (and gay and disabled friends and friends of ethnic minority backgrounds too [Cue:  I must apologise for my nation’s conduct during ze War…]).  Why can’t we all just get along and agree that none of us knows the answers to life’s questions?

Speaking of intolerance, I am slightly intolerant to caffeine, though the degree of it seems to vary from day to day.  Mother Suckerbag suffers from the same condition.  A lady I recently bumped into has the same, yet she keeps drinking coffee anyway.  I do too, because I like the taste of it.  But generally I stick with decaffeinated coffee.  Sometimes when I need a burst of energy and I feel my body will tolerate this xanthine alkaloid, I will take half a teaspoon of normal coffee mixed with a spoonful of decaff.  I call this beverage partially re-caffeinated-decaff, or precaff for short.

Caffeine does add to the taste of coffee and I often wondered what a cup of decaff with ProPlus would taste like.  I call it fre-aducaff: fully re-caffeinated adulterated decaffeinated coffee.  Any takers?

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May the 4th be with you

20110504 Darth Vader 150x150 May the 4th be with you

So today is unofficially Star Wars day, so to celebrate, here’s a little bit of waffle for you.

Today is the 4th of May, or May the Fourth; and may it be with you for the rest of today and beyond!  To celebrate I have attached a photograph of one of the little electrical outlets you see along the Floating Harbour in Bristol, England.  With a little imagination you will see a silhouette of Darth Vader.  Speaking of Star Wars characters, have you ever noticed that Margaret Beckett looks like Jar Jar Binks?  Do an image search and you’ll see what I mean.

 

AV Referendum 

I don’t normally do politics in my articles, but the Margaret Beckett reference prompted a mention of the Referendum on the Alternative Vote, or AV.  Tomorrow people in the UK get to decide whether or not we want fairer votes.  Whilst it’s still not as good as Proportional Representation, I believe it’s a good halfway house and a step in the right direction.

To those naysayers who go on about the principle of “one person, one vote”, I’d like to point out that under the current system not everyone’s vote is equal.  This is intuitive really, as everyone has heard of so-called safe seats, but it’s worth looking up “Voter Power Index” on the internet for information.

I’m not a militant yes-man (so to speak) and if anyone has any good, positive arguments for keeping the status quo, I’d like to hear from you.  All the arguments I have heard against AV have focused on negativity and scaremongering.  No-voters, please let me know your comments.  Vic Suckerbag is willing to learn (if there’s anything to learn on this matter) and I’m listening!  I may suck bags but I don’t bite or bark!

Faces

There will be more faces soon, but I have been a little bit busy…  In the meantime, please don’t forget to join us on Twitter and Facebook!

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NEWS: Facebook and Twitter

180521101969400.1873.1656394044 NEWS: Facebook and Twitter

In the last 48 hours or so we have had nearly 40 unique hits and 29 “likes” and counting!  I have now created a Facebook Page that you can join.  This will be the newsfeed for the site and notifications of all new uploads will be posted on the wall.  All content will be posted to this website only.  This is so your Facebook newsfeed doesn’t get clogged.

Remember you can submit pictures, so  keep your camera (phone) on standby!  You never know where the next face might be hiding…

Finally, you can get more detailed live updates on Twitter on @iseefaces_co_uk.

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