Tag Archives: vacuum

Sleeping Stapler

20120717 Stapler face 150x150 Sleeping StaplerJohn sent in this photograph of his office stapler!  The stapler appears to be asleep, totally oblivious to the fact that it has just been opened up.

I wish I could sleep at work… Actually, I don’t really work.  I just sleep in the airing cupboard all day and when I am put to work, it’s more of a feeding frenzy.  I hate it how humans call me a vacuum cleaner though.  That’s a dirty word…

Thanks again John!

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Things we will never know…

20110914 Dust bag face 150x150 Things we will never know...Simon in Australia sent in this little gem.  It is a vacuum cleaner bag, or suckerbag, as I call it. It appears to be full of dust and probably many, many other things I’d rather not know about.

Dust.  The stuff gets everywhere and it drives me crazy.  You’d think, as a Vaxian, I love the stuff, but there’s a time and a place for everything.  Fail to clean your house and a grey film starts to coat everything and then, presumably, the sneezing starts.

I was at a competitor’s office recently, trawling through record drawings of an existing building that is going to be extended in the near future.  Needless to say, the reason we need record information is because, as structural engineers, we like to know what the existing structure is, where the beams, columns and foundations are so we can design the extension in such a way that it is stable and doesn’t overload the existing building.

Looking through record information is always interesting and it is like stepping back in time.  In surprising ways it is also much like going through old photo albums featuring people you know or have heard of.  You see names of people cropping up in old faxes (yes, faxes – remember those?) and letters, who are still around, still doing the same thing – sometimes 15 years later.  As I look at the dates on the documents, I try to remember where I was at the time said document was being prepared.  What was I doing and what was on my mind?  Who was in my life and where are those people now?  Ploughing through these documents is like undertaking an archaeological dig.  What were those people doing at the time besides working on that project?  What was going on in their lives?  Fascinating stuff.

Guess who

First off, as a tangent, have you ever noticed how people sometimes erroneously end a sentence beginning with “Guess” with a question mark?  It is what I call an interrofauxpas.

Back on the subject of people, their lives and personalities, the one thing that defines a person by a single word is their name.  It’s fascinating how people on the train or the tube, or those driving on the motorway are label-less and together simply become a crowd.  I call it individumassation.

In some instances the people will acquire a temporary label, like knobhead, twat and so on.  But this remains fairly anonymous and it is easy to forget that the guy who just cut you up or the woman who’s hogging the middle lane is human too.  They have lives, feelings, memories and dreams.  These people you bump into and will never again knowingly meet might be people who save other people’s lives or design the infrastructure we all take for granted.

Ruddles Day

When I was made redundant over 18 months ago a friend of mine and I decided we should spend a day drinking Ruddles, as it was going cheap at 99p per pint at Lloyds in Bristol. In the end we didn’t manage a whole day but drank an afternoon away, watching curling on TV.  By this time the price had gone up to £1.09 and I had also managed to find a full-time job by sheer determination and turning job hunting into a full-time job.

Aside from watching the curling – it is always fascinating to watch how they sweep the ice with their brooms – we played another game, which I call Anonynomination.  The aim of the game is to scan the room and guess a person’s name based on nothing but appearance.  It requires no intellect and is, on the face of it, pretty shallow and definitely more interesting when you’ve consumed Ruddles or any other beer for that matter. But it is interesting how these people suddenly become more human in an instant, as soon as a hypothesised name is applied to them.  It is also interesting what names mean to you and moreover, to discuss with your partner in crime why you think that guy with a beard is called Graham, or the beautiful young blonde woman, Kate.

We never did find out what these people were really called and there are some things in life we will simply never know – much like the contents of the dust bag in the picture above!

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Introducing Victor Suckerbag

20100926 Vacuum Cleaner 300x225 Introducing Victor Suckerbag

Drilling into MDF creates dust and I believe it’s not the most healthy of things to inhale. Fixing my mirror resulted in only minute quantities of dust but enough to warrant getting my vacuum cleaner out of hibernation. Well, he seemed delighted, if a little shocked! Good ol’ trusty Vic with his bug eyes, and gormless open mouth. I bought him from Argos several years ago and he’s still going strong. Also notice my slippers. I think they were given to me as a a birthday present a few years ago… Oh the joy. I don’t feel old enough to be getting slippers for my birthday. Saying that, I’m beginning to go thin on top. It happens to the best of us, I’m told. Hey-ho.

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